Little Girls, Little Boys REPOST!
by nanima
Summary: Harry catches Ginny brewing a Love Potion intended for him and decides to have a little bit of fun of his own, while finding he is strangely jealous of Terry Boot's fancy for Hermione. Disregards DH and parts of HPB. Ginny bashing, sort of, and HHr REPOST
1. Desperate times

Harry Potter was in trouble. Stuck between an angry Filch and Moaning Myrtle, he really wished he had a Dark Lord to distract them. Or at least a Weasley twin. _Which is worse, seeing McGonagall in her night robe or having Myrtle fawn over me?_

He twirled around (in a very manly fashion of course), Invisibility Cloak swishing around him, and opened the door to the girl's bathroom praying he hadn't made a sound. He wasn't prepared for what he saw.

Ginny Weasley, his best mate's little sister, standing in the middle of the bathroom with a smoldering cauldron with colored fumes rising from its depths. Harry couldn't see the potion but giving the location of its concoction and the current time, a little over midnight, he could tell that it wasn't exactly hot chocolate.

Moaning Myrtle must have made the same connection, as she was floating above Ginny with a less than ecstatic look on her face.

"Myrtle! Go away! I've told you a hundred times to look out for Mrs. Norris!" Ginny seemed to be a nervous wreak, her voice broke three times and Harry could see the way her hand shook as she added another ingredient to her potion.

"You promised me you would tell me what you're brewing. I want to know now!" Responded Myrtle, in more or less a wail of despair, Ginny rolled her eyes at the ghost's childish antics and exclaimed,

"Fine! It's a Love Potion."

"But, why do you need—"

"Somebody I know needs a little push to realize how much he loves me, and I can't risk that beaver know-it-all finding out!"

Harry was sick to his stomach, he had a pretty good idea who Ginny was trying to "enchant" considering the way she had been throwing herself at him all summer. He had spent most of his time tripping to avoid her, and had the bruises to prove it.

"That's, just…. you're going to…not even _I_ am that desperate…"

"Shut it! I'm almost done, and believe me, once he drinks his morning pumpkin juice everything will be perfect."

"You know, no one else might see you but _I _am going to go tell her! Next time, don't call me thick!" Myrtle's wail almost knocked Harry out cold, but he was already forming a plan in his mind.

If little Ginny Weasley thought he was going to be that easy to trick, he had fought bloody Voldemort for crying out loud, then Peeves must have hit her pretty hard over the head. She didn't know it yet but what was coming for her was worthy of her brothers.

He was starting to get a little carried away when he heard Ginny threatening to tell McGonagall that Myrtle spied on the prefects taking baths and heard her cap her vial of potion. Not wanting to find out what would happen if he were discovered, he ran out the door and to the Gryffindor common room.

Leaving a bewildered Fat Lady behind, he was about to run up the stairs to his dorm when he spied a brown haired girl asleep by the fire. _Hermione_, he thought with a smile, _the day you stop reading is the day Malfoy declares his undying love to Neville._ Taking off his cloak, he walked over to her and was about to wake her up when he noticed what she was researching. There, underneath her hand, lay _Magia_ _Diabolica_.

He immediately stiffened, yet he knew that she was doing this for him. As much as Harry appreciated Ron and Hermione, he sometimes wished they would turn their backs on him and leave him to deal with the Horcruxes alone. He knew they had been with him for six years now and had willingly agreed,actually insisting, to accompany him but he couldn't help but feel responsible for turning their lives into a whirlwind of danger.

"Snake…locket.... cup…" Hermione's mumbles reached Harry's pained ears as he realized that he had even contaminated her dreams. Not really knowing why, he picked her up and cradled her in his arms. He couldn't help but notice how she smelled of vanilla and parchment, and the ink that smeared her fingers.

As he thought about his best friend, the door creaked open and Harry half sprinted towards the girls dorms before realizing that he wasn't allowed up. Harry climbed up to his dorm with Hermione still in his arms and placed her on his bed. Not really bothering to think about what she would say in the morning, since they had already slept together plenty of times, and lay down next to her.

She shifted and turned on her side, her back to him, and he did the same. Hoping Ron's snores would not wake Hermione, he fell asleep thinking about what he was going to do to Ginny but when he dreamt, they were all about the girl lying next to him.

"Harry!"


	2. Desperate measures

Chapter 2

"Er…good morning?"

Harry was going to have a bad day.

That's the thing about battling lunatic Dark Lords with God complexes. They tend to teach you a thing or two about bad days.

Hermione was glaring at him, and he noticed that he had swung an arm over her waist and had tangled his legs with hers, pinning her to the bed.

Looking up he noticed that Ron had turned a shade of not so flattering red. It concerned Harry that he was lying down while Ron, a very tall lad, was towering over him. As Ron's furious eyes flashed, Harry held back a small whimper. He would take Voldemort over the Weasly temper any day.

"Harry."

Harry turned his head to look at Hermione, failing to realize that he had yet to release her from his grip, and as soon as he looked into her eyes he forgot all about Ron and the whispered conversation between Dean and Seamus and…

"Harry! What! How! HERMIONE!?"

Hermione sighed, Ron always did overreact a bit, but instead of turning on him she looked expectantly at Harry also waiting for an explanation as to why she had woken up tangled up with him in his _bed_.

Harry was now turning a bright shade of pink, but he managed to stutter out an explanation.

"Well, you see…last night—'

"LAST NIGHT!?"

"—I found Hermione downstairs…uh… and I couldn't just _leave_ her there….right?... so, so I brought her up here."

"THAT'S RICH! You don't really expect me to believe that do you!?"

"So _Ronald_." Harry could tell Hermione was offended but Ron, in his infinite wisdom, was still fuming and didn't care as he rambled on about betrayals and clichés.

"So. You would have left me to sleep alone in the common room? On the couch? What if McGonagall had caught me? Detention, for _me._ Or worse, what if there was another break in? You should be _grateful _I'm in Harry's bed, I could very well have been in the Forbidden Forrest! My, aren't you just the most chivalrous boy to walk these halls!"

"That's…besides the point…you…Harry….!" Ron _still_ didn't notice he was fighting a long lost battle.

Harry started to relax again, but just as he closed his eyes a sharp slap on the side of the head alerted him to Hermione's presence. Or more specifically, her current position on his bed. _She's so…soft…_

"Um, Harry? I would really appreciate getting up now…" As her lovely, _(Lovely?!)_ voice wrapped around his ears, he blushed and quickly let go of her so she could get up.

Ron was still blabbering in the background, but now seemed to be reduced to incoherent noises and ever so often "_My_ Hermione…bed_…git…"_

"Sorry, I guess I should have woken you up…"

"Don't worry about it Harry." A small glimmer of hope made an appearance in Harry's mind, _I won't get the riot act! Maybe she didn't mind, maybe…_His sweet train of thought was interrupted by one of the frightening sentences Harry ever had the misfortune to hear, especially coming from the brightest most powerful witch of her age.

"_We'll talk about it later."_ Hermione's tone was harsh enough to send chills up a Death Eater's spine but her face remained gentle and peaceful. _Oh. Maybe I should ask Moody for some Polyjuice, or use the last of my Peruvian Powder? A first year wouldn't mind impersonating me I'm sure…_

Suddenly, Harry sprang up out of his bed.

"GINNY!"

Ron stopped his ranting long enough to process the situation. He had found his 'best mate' and the object of his affections in bed together, (while he was sleeping no more than ten feet away!), and now said mate was yelling his sister's name. He didn't know whom yet, but someone was going to be on the receiving end of a very nasty, well-practiced Bat-Bogey Hex.

Harry couldn't believe how thick he was. He had a plan to implement and he was sitting on his bed wondering about how best to avoid Hermione's wrath. Thinking that he had better get down to breakfast and give dear Gin what was coming to her, he grabbed Ron and pulled him along even as he protested profusely.

"Honestly Harry, you really think I want to go anywhere with you now? What are you doing? Oh yes, I'm just Ron the sidekick. I obviously am only meant to follow you around, wait are we going to breakfast?" Ron's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree; food was always a welcome commodity.

"Yes! Now shut it and listen to me. I need you to pretend to not hate me right now, Ron. It's important. You're the only one that can help." Harry prayed that Ron might still have some sense left in him; he could always let him beat him to a bloody pulp later.

"I want complete access to the Map and the Cloak. No questions asked." Ron smirked, as if he had achieved some great feat, comparable to not fainting in Aragog's presence.

"Fine! Now let's go, aren't you starving?" Knowing that the mention of food would distract Ron a bit he kept storming his way towards the Great Hall, frightening several small first years in the process.

Even if they had only been in school for two months, they had quickly learned that no one who got in the way of Harry Potter while he was on a mission (some had noticed most of these had to deal with Hermione in danger, but they kept that to themselves of course, no need to point out the obvious) and lived to tell the tale. Or didn't spend at least two weeks in the Hospital Wing.

As they burst into the Great Hall, Albus Dumbledore was watching Ginny Weasley quite curiously. He noticed the girl had a small plate of oatmeal next to her pumpkin juice, but hadn't touched since she had served herself.

Instead of investigating further the wise man merely chuckled and thought of various scenarios that could result from backfiring potions. His colleagues looked at him with a hint of concern in their eyes, _this_ was the man who was representing all things good against the darkest lord in centuries? Dumbledore knew that people did not understand him, but he found that a nice long bath with his old Simon and Garfunkel records and his trusty rubber duck could cure most lonely spells.

"Hey Gin! Mind if we sit with you today?" Ginny's heart gave a few leaps as Harry sat opposite her with Ron, yet she failed to notice a mischievous glint in Harry's eyes.

As they were very late, there was not much food left on the table and they both ate away at their plates quite hungrily. Seeing Harry was done, Ginny pushed the plate of oatmeal towards him. Harry knew this was his only chance, and he took it.

"Harry, I saved you some oatmeal and it's still quite warm. Have it will you?"

"Sure Gin, thanks." Ginny couldn't help but notice Harry had given her a nickname and her heart fluttered, just as she was ready to proclaim victory, Harry did the unthinkable and pushed his plate towards Ron.

"Thanks mate, I was feeling a bit hungry…reckon I didn't have enough to eat." Harry snorted; the boy had eaten enough food to sustain Buckbeak for a week.

Before Ginny had time to react, Ron had inhaled (for there was no other explanation for how quickly the oatmeal had disappeared) the contents of the plate and was now gazing at Ginny in a sickly, adoring way.

"Ron? Are you alright?" Hermione had arrived just in time to process the scene. Harry was smirking just like Malfoy after he managed to get rid of Pansy for more than fifteen minutes, Ron was staring intently at his sister, and Ginny looked as if she was going to pass out.

"Oh, everything's fine Hermione. Right Ron?"

"Huh? Sure mate…whatever…say, Gingi—"

"I have to go! Classes you know, see you later Harry!" Ginny was nearing tears; she didn't really expect this to happen. She had to find a Ravenclaw, soon. She wasn't about to waste precious time researching in the library, and she couldn't ask _her_.

Harry was snickering madly, attracting curious stares from other students while Ron looked like someone had dropped a cauldron on his head. Dumbledore was still forming images in his mind, but he now had an idea of what was going on with that oatmeal. He really loved Hogwarts, so many desperate students, so much haywire magic, he just wished he could record it all for future enjoyment. Maybe he could ask the walls if they would mind having a few more spells placed on them…

Neville, who had been watching the whole debacle, was confused. Today was Saturday, why was Ginny going to class?


	3. Desperate people

Chapter 3

As soon as he saw who was in the library, Harry regretted walking into the cursed room. The person he had been avoiding like the plague all day was there, and she had already spotted him. _Seven years, seven years and you still haven't learned that when avoiding Hermione, NEVER GO IN THE LIBRARY?!_ His inner voice still screaming at him to run away, he reluctantly walked over to her.

"Harry." She nodded at him to sit and as he did, he noticed that there was another bag on the table, not just Hermione's. He didn't have time to dwell on this though, as she started ranting and it took all his concentration to understand what she was saying.

"Seriously Harry, what were you thinking? You could have woken me up, but instead you decide to carryme to your _bed_! I know we've slept together before, but that was necessity, Harry. You know I never mind it, but usually Ron's there too, or I'm aware of it! Complete invasion of privacy, really. I'm not angry at you, and I'm sorry for my tone before, but next time just wake me up all right?"

"I'm sorry Hermione." His brilliant defense had flown out the window as soon as he heard Ron's name. Truthfully, they had only slept with each other three times and two of those times Ron had been there too.

"Now, would you like to tell me why I spent the entire day running around school, helping Ron find Ginny?" Hermione asked.

"What?" Harry's voice was a couple octaves higher than usual as he contemplated several scenarios to escape.

"Honestly, do you think I'm daft? Ron might be Ginny's brother, but they're not exactly best friends, are they?"

"Well, you see… Ron…"

"Hermione!" Harry whipped his head around to see who was calling her name, and missed how a beaming smile graced Hermione's face.

"Terry, I was wondering where you were." As Hermione greeted Terry Boot, Harry's insides squirmed with jealousy. Too bad the poor bloke still hadn't identified that nauseated feeling and he thought he was probably allergic to Terry's cologne. _He wears too much really, nasty stuff. Hermione must hate it…yes, he must repulse her…_ He felt a bit better after that conclusion, but that was short-lived as he saw Hermione positively glow as Terry stood next to her.

"Sorry, took me a while to find my Potions book…Hey Harry, didn't know you would be joining us." Terry's tone was suspicious, but before Harry could answer Hermione corrected his assumption.

"Oh, Harry was just asking me something about the DADA essay, but he has to go finish that now, don't you?" Harry contemplated Hermione's pleading look and assessed the situation. He could stay, and figure out why Hermione was with Boot at this hour (8 o' clock! The nerve!), or he could go and get back in her good graces.

"Er, sure. I was just leaving anyway." As Harry left the table, he saw Terry sit in his vacated seat next to Hermione. He also noticed the boy scooted the chair a few inches too close to hers for his comfort.

"Bye, 'Mione!" Harry's attempt to attract Hermione's attention failed. She was too deep in conversation with Terry to notice that Harry had called her something other than her full name. Harry supposed that could be a good thing, the last person who abbreviated her name had been left with a Jelly Legs Jinx and ringing ears.

He would have to deal with Hermione later, because right now Ginny was running at him full speed and he had the perfect way to continue his plan.

"Gin! I've been looking all over for you!" Ginny's grin grew wider and wider as with every word Harry said, and she stopped running right in front of Harry, and very, very close.

"Really? I've been stuck in the dorms all day, loads of homework you know?" Harry snickered inwardly as he saw her face light up and look downcast all at the same time, because she had missed the opportunity to be with him and because he had wanted to see her.

"Well, you don't have homework now, do you?" As Harry spoke, he noticed a speck of red hair flying his way and thanked the gods for helping him implement the perfect revenge.

Grabbing Ginny's arm, he yanked her down the hall and into an empty classroom and just as he was closing the door, he signaled Ron and alerted him to Ginny's presence. Turning to Ginny, who had turned a brilliant shade of red, he moved towards her slowly and took one of her hands in his. Ginny was so busy trying not to hyperventilate that she didn't notice the smirk on Harry's face and the stomping footsteps of her brother.

Just as Harry had moved even closer to her face, Ron slammed the door open and Harry jumped back about a foot.

"Gingin!" Ginny screamed and ran behind a desk, attempting to hide from Ron. Harry wanted to teach Ginny something about messing with a Marauder's son, but he wasn't Bellatrix or worse, Snape. Motioning for Ginny to get down, he pointed his wand at Ron and muttered _Stupefy_. When Ron's body hit the ground with a loud thump, Ginny rose from her position behind the desk.

"Harry, I'm so sorry, I honestly have no idea what has gotten into him! I think maybe Hermione poisoned him or something, to annoy me. She's never really liked me you know…" Harry's blood boiled. Ginny's sickly sweet voice and the way she was accusing Hermione, _his _Hermione, was making him angrier than Voldemort when he had the misfortune to look at his own reflection.

Ginny, having no sense of self preservation at all, walked closer to Harry and reached for his hand. Harry's eyes flashed and he recoiled.

"I'd better get Ron back to the tower."

"Oh, don't worry about him, I reckon he'll be out for a while. Stay with me."

Harry wanted nothing more than to lock her in the Chamber of Secrets with only Peter Pettigrew for company while Buckbeak and the last of Hagrid's Blast-Ended Skrewts chased after them mercilessly. Harry realized that in order for his plan to work he was going to have to make certain sacrifices. Allowing Ginny to touch him, although he would prefer to have a Dark Mark branded on him before that ever happened, was a necessity.

He reached out and held her hand again, stepping closer to her and watching as her face lost its blazing color but gained a faint pink shade across her cheeks. He was getting closer, he could count the freckles on her nose and before she could close the gap between them, he abruptly pulled away.

"Harry?" Ginny squeaked as she attempted to pull him back to her.

"Sorry, Gin. I shouldn't have gotten that close, not with Ron there. I'll take him to the tower now and I'll see you later okay?"

Before she could respond, he dropped a quick kiss on her forehead and tried to ignore the bitter taste in his mouth, it was then that he realized that Ginny was, in fact, bitter. Ginny loathed the fact that Harry never showed any interest in her, that Hermione was his best friend, that Ron got to go on adventures with them…but that still didn't give her any right to try to trick Harry.

Leaving Ginny blushing scarlet, Harry levitated Ron and walked out of the room. Continuing on his way back to the common room, Harry contemplated what to do next. _Well, Weasley thinks she has a chance now, but I still have to figure out how to get Ron back to normal and then I can…_

Harry stopped in his tracks. The sight before him was too much to handle, and he dropped Ron unceremoniously. The sound of his body crashing to the ground resounded throughout the dark corridor, announcing Harry's presence.


	4. Desperate lies

Disclaimer: Clearly, I own nothing.

Harry's heart pounded, all he could hear was all his blood rushing from his head, and he made a few strangled noises.

There, standing with a radiant smile on his face, stood the man Harry had been yearning to see for a solid four months. The man he had watched disappear from his life that wretched evening, the man who he had wept for while Hermione held him and Ron attempted weak jokes to raise his spirits.

"Harry!" As his godfather ran towards him, Harry felt a heavy weight on his heart lift, and his face broke out into a beaming smile.

After engulfing his godson in a hug, Sirius Black stepped back and accidentally trotted on Ron's fingers, but he did not notice. He was too overcome with joy at being back at Hogwarts, back with his best friend's son, right where he belonged.

"Sirius…but I…. you're…how…" To his horror, Harry's eyes swam with tears as he was avalanched with emotions.

"Questions later Harry. It doesn't really matter, does it? I'm back, for good. Well, I have to speak to Dumbledore first, seeing as I cant really go back to Grimmuald Place, but I—"

"Dumbledore doesn't know you're here? How did you get in to the castle?"

"Animagus, remember?" Sirius replied, pointing to himself. Harry mentally slapped himself and took a step back, tripping over Ron's feet. Sirius began to laugh, but looked down and noticed that his godson's best friend was lying on the ground, unconscious.

"Uh, Harry?" Sirius didn't bother to voice his question, he looked pointedly at Ron's body and Harry immediately used his wand to levitate him and started walking towards the tower.

"Now, I know I've been…gone, but I never thought I'd see the day you'd off your best mate."

"He's not dead, just…I stunned him."

"What did he do, try to kiss Hermione?"

"No, wait, wha—"

"Comon, I'm not blind, and if I figured it out then she must have too. She's the brightest witch of her age, she is. And you're not thick either..." Sirius trailed off, noticing the look of utter shock and confusion on Harry's face. "…unless...no, surely you're not…but it did take Lily _ages_…oh, Merlin Harry, did you inherit nothing from James?!" _Or too much from James…_

Harry was stunned. His brain was still trying to comprehend the mush of words dribbling out of his godfather's mouth.

Seeing the look on Harry face, Sirius kicked himself for not teaching his father-deprived godson absolutely anything about women. He was Sirius Black after all, plenty of experience and wisdom to pass down; what had he done wasting all that time talking about bloody hippogriffs and Dark Lords?

This boy had bigger problems! Puberty had snuck up on him and his hormones were probably wreaking havoc but he was so oblivious that it must have been driving him crazy! A Marauder's son, already in sixth year with only _one_ girl in his past: despicable, unheard of, bloody preposterous! _Sirius, you've been slacking off. Have you no consideration at all for your best friend's son? I'm appalled!_ Sirius could almost hear James scolding him about letting his little boy down and depriving the female population of a true Marauder's charm and ahem, _abilities_.

Harry was mortified. His godfather, whom he thought _dead_, was mumbling about hormones and snogging in broom closets and his beautiful best friend Hermione, who had gorgeous eyes and a perfect smile and…Maybe his hormones were going crazy. This man had been gone for months! He had seen Merlin knows what behind that veil and he wanted to talk about GIRLS?! _Azkaban really did drive him insane after all. _

Sirius was still mumbling incoherently and was so distracted that he didn't even notice they were already at the Fat Lady's portrait.

"SIRIUS BLACK! SIRIUS BLACK! SOMEONE ALERT DUMBLEDORE! MY MERLIN, SIRIUS BLACK!"

"NO, NO IT'S NOT LIKE THAT _PLEASE_ BE QUIET!" Harry frantically attempted to dissuade the Fat Lady from alerting everyone to Sirius' presence, which could prove fatal as Snape was still around and as much as he would love to see Sirius and Snape duel, he wouldn't want to put his professor in that kind of emotional pain. Right?

Sirius, bless him, was totally unaware of the situation as he was continued to babble and randomly slap himself on the forehead.

"Mr. Potter may I ask…" Too late. Professor McGonagall never had a chance. As soon as Sirius spotted her, he practically jumped into her arms.

"Minnie!

Harry had always regarded Professor McGonagall as the stoic woman she was, a fierce unbreakable rock, so he wasn't prepared for his teacher's face to crumble and for her jaw to drop. It was as strange as seeing Draco Malfoy cuddling with Dobby, a sight he wouldn't particularly enjoy either.

Patting Sirius awkwardly on the shoulder, she regarded him as he stepped back from her. Sirius hadn't changed much, his hair was still shaggy, his face less gaunt than before but Harry could see the ghost of Azkaban upon his features. The only thing that had really changed was his gaze.

As Sirius' eyes explored the room, he feasted on his godson and his former teacher, the portraits, the swinging staircases. Other than the Potter's home, Sirius only really felt completely whole and safe at Hogwarts, and now he was back, with his best friends son, and he was there to stay.

"Sirius, I think you may have killed her."

"Nah, Minnie isn't feeble Harry, she lived through music in the seventies, put up with that git Snape all these years, and managed to keep her secret desire for Dumbledore hidden, too. Not very well, but—"

Minnie, uh Professor McGonagall, snapped out of her reverie the second she heard Dumbledore. Surely, a coincidence.

"BLACK! TO THE HEADMASTER'S OFFICE! NOW!" Grabbing Sirius' by theear, she started to drag the grown man towards the staircase. She paused and whispered to the Fat Lady, "You didn't see anything, did you?" Her words would have been innocent were it not for the ice-cold tone she used as she addressed the aspiring opera singer sent yet another chill through Harry's spine.

She walked away and it took Harry a full minute to recover from the shock, before he bolted after them. Professor McGonagall was surprisingly fast and as Harry neared them he could hear Sirius babbling again.

"But, I didn't do ANYTHING! Is it really my fault Prongs named you Minnie? I JUST CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD! Professor! Really! I'm a GROWN MAN! Let me go, it _hurts_!" Sirius' whiny voice was resounding in the corridor, so Professor McGonagall pulled out her wand and _Silencioed _him.

Harry resisted the urge to collapse in laughter when he saw the look on his godfather's face. Sirius was the prime example of a little boy who had been denied the last cookie and had been told all his birthdays and Christmases were now canceled. His rude gestures complemented by filthy words he was probably screaming only served to contradict his point. Sirius, in fact, was _not_ a grown man, just a rather large and hairy toddler.

As they neared Dumbledore's office, Harry walked right up to his professor and insisted on seeing Dumbledore with them.

Professor McGonagall turned to him and with a somber expression said, "I'm sorry Potter, but I think this is a conversation you should not be included in."

Harry was just about to retort, and Sirius looked as though he was going to hex his former professor because of her blatant overlook of Sirius' power as Harry's legal guardian. Harry was his responsibility, and if he wanted to come with them then by Merlin, he was going to, but just then they reached the Headmaster's office.

"New lemon drops, tastier and longer lasting." Harry could hear the disapproval in Professor McGonagall's voice as she gave the statue the password and proceeded to shove Sirius up the stairs. He also saw the small twitch of her mouth as she tried not to smile at her favorite Headmaster's antics.

"Professor! You can't—I mean, shouldn't Professor Dumbledore decide whether or not I can sit in?"

Without even a glance in his direction, Professor McGonagall gave a very clear, very definitive no with a promise of detention if he inquired further. The statue revolved once again and Harry was left alone.

He walked all the way to the Tower in a huff, mumbling every now and then about hair being too pulled back and causing pressure on certain evil centers of the brain, about how his _dead_ godfather was now eating lemons drops and conversing with his old Headmaster.

He almost barked the password at the Fat Lady and stomped through the portrait hole. Several first years recognized the look on his face, and promptly retreated to their dorms.

Sprawling across the couch he stared at the Common Room ceiling and waited, determined to get answers out of Sirius once he came back. Because, he was coming back, wasn't he? He wouldn't leave him again, would he? What if Dumbledore decided that he was too much of an exposure threat or something of the like?

Harry lay in silence, occasionally sending the portrait hole anxious glances for some time until he heard it swing open. He looked up; a hesitant yet excited expression on his face that quickly turned to a look of surprise and suspicion. It was more than half an hour past curfew, what was she doing out?!

"_Hermione!?_" The witch in question turned to the couch, and a brilliant smile lit up her face. Harry sighed inwardly, and looked at her expectantly.

"Oh, hi Harry! I'm just going to bed, you know I'm quite tired, just having finished rounds—"

"Hermione." If there was one thing Harry was good at, it was knowing when his best friend, that's right _friend_, was lying. He had spent so many hours staring, er contemplating her that he knew that if she was angry, her left eyebrow twitched slightly and her nose wrinkled a bit. He knew that when the left corner of her mouth turned slightly down, she was on the verge of tears, and if she bit down on her bottom lip she was trying very, very hard not to say something offensive.

The one look that took quite some time to identify was the lying one. Hermione rarely lied, especially to him, and it took several missed assignments to recognize it. Her mouth had turned to a brilliant smile that didn't quite reach her chocolate eyes, and her left hand twisted a single strand of her hair nervously. Yes, his Hermione was lying and he wanted to know _exactly_ about what.

Harry stared right at her, and Hermione seemed to shrink under his gaze and walked over to him, sitting down on the couch. She looked at the fire and stole a couple of glances at him every couple of seconds, and finally took a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak.

Harry waited with baited breath and didn't even register the absence of a familiar red head.

Ron was still petrified in the corridor.


	5. Desperate explanations

Disclaimer: I wish I did, but I don't own anything.

Author's Note: This is the first new chapter; it took me a while to figure out where I wanted to go with this. Thanks to those of you who've stuck around to read this story, and thanks for alerting me that I had a double chapter! Hope you enjoy this :)

"You boy, what are you doing out here?" Filch's voice rang out through the corridor as he stomped towards a still unconscious Ron. "Don't you ignore me boy, you're going to get enough detention as is, a half hour past curfew; you lot never learn, you just get taller and dumber."

Having reached Ron, Filch was ready to muster all his feeble strength to lift and drag him to the dungeons, he just knew Snape would love a visit from his _favorite_ student this late at night.

Just as he was about to grab Ron's ear, he let out a strangled scream and backed away slowly. Ron's skin was bright red, with visible fuchsia boils on his arms and face.

"Stupid kids, you'll never learn, now I have to wake Poppy too…" Filch grumbled as he walked towards the Hospital Wing and didn't notice the merry whistling that was coming towards Ron's body.

Sirius Black stopped at the site of his godson's best friend, and after seeing the condition he was in, quickly levitated Ron and started towards Gryffindor Tower.

Once in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the scrap of paper his former Headmaster had given him. Tapping three bricks next to the portrait in sequence, being careful to not wake its inhabitant, Sirius opened the secret passage into the Common Room and carefully laid Ron on the rug. There were two people sitting on the coach with their backs to him, and it took him a minute to recognize Hermione's familiar brown locks.

"Harry, would you like to explain this?" Harry's annoyed face turned to look at Sirius, but when he saw who it was and what was accompanying him; it turned into a look of shock and guilt. Hermione, on the other hand, looked extremely relieved but quickly let out a blood-chilling scream once she saw who had addressed them. Harry slammed a hand over her mouth and tried to explain that, yes, his dead godfather was back in Hogwarts with Ron's unconscious and mutilated body floating next to him, but really, everything was quite all right.

Needless to say it took a while for them to calm her down and several bruises and stunning jinxes later, Sirius sat down in front of the fire with Ron's body lying on the couch and Harry sitting next to Hermione on the floor.

"Sirius…how did…that's not _possible_…. Luna _can't be right._ She's, she's…" Hermione was having a hard time comprehending the situation and poor Ron was still stunned, as no one had bothered to pay him any attention.

"Well, it seems dogs have a couple of lives too. Apparently, we're now at the same level of evolution as cats. Wonderful."

"Sirius Black, this is not the time to make jokes, explain yourself! Now!" Hermione was in no mood to put up with his antics, even if he had risen from the dead.

"Molly really did a number on you, didn't she?" Sirius shuddered as he was reminded of another red head that yelled just as much as Molly Weasley, who would never scold him again.

Hermione turned red and with a big 'humpf!' she twisted around and gave her back to Sirius.

"Common, this isn't going to be like last time is it? Can't you two get along? Please, for my sanity at least?" At Harry's words Hermione visibly relaxed but she still refused to face Sirius.

"Alright then, Sirius just explain how you managed to rise from the dead without having to take Unicorn blood."

"Funny Harry, really. Honestly? I can't remember."

"What?! You can't remember _coming back to life_? Harry, how do you really know that it really is Sirius sitting there? What if it's just a joke from Malfoy or an imposter or—" Ah, Hermione. Always looking for the conspiracies in life. She brings so much joy and trust to every conversation.

"Whoa, hold on a second. If I wasn't really Sirius would I know that you _stole_ a book from my private library in Grimmauld Place last summer?" Sirius was quick to defend himself, he knew how good a Jelly Legs Jinx the girl could do, and her _Petrificous_ _Totalus_ was practically famous.

"How…I did not steal anything! I merely, borrowed that book to help your godson, and now that you're _dead_ it's really Harry's and he doesn't mind that I keep it, do you?" Hermione's defense wasn't as brilliant as she wanted it to be, seeing as she spoke with her back to them.

"Uh, um, 'Mione, don't, this…I mean he did just come back from the _dead_. As in, he is now alive. I can't really side against him, can I?" Harry tried to use a very soothing voice, but it just came out as very, very frightened.

Hermione scowled and crossed her arms again, biting her lip.

_Oops. Shouldn't have called her that…_Now Harry was almost trembling.

"Don't. Call. Me. Mione." Gritting her teeth, Hermione glared at Harry, still refusing to face Sirius.

"Why not? I think it's an absolutely charming name, _Mione._" Sirius never did learn, did he?

"I'm going to bed. It's past curfew and I have things to do in the morning." Hermione started to stomp her way towards the girl's dorm, but Harry still had a couple of questions for her.

"Hermione, you haven't told me anything! Where were you? I know you were lying, Hermione come back!" Turning around slowly, Hermione pinned Harry with a steely glaze. Harry gulped visibly, and Sirius suppressed a barking laugh.

Harry prepared himself for the worst, but quickly learned it was unnecessary. Hermione simply turned back around and quickly ran up the steps.

"Don't worry she'll come 'round in the morning." Sirius sat down on the couch and stared pointedly at Harry, gesturing to Ron.

"No, she won't." Harry was now not only scared, but worried about his friend. That's right. _Friend._

"She didn't even yell at you, Harry. She could have hexed you, and she just left. It'll blow over soon."

"No. A quiet Hermione is worse than a Hermione in battle, Sirius. Voldemort may as well declare victory now, no need to come hunt me down. I'll be done for, tomorrow." _That's if I make it through tonight._ Sitting down heavily, Harry tried to think of a way to explain to Sirius why his best friend was currently covered in colorful boils and petrified. He didn't seem to come up with any brilliant ideas, so he just told him the truth.

"Ron's in love with Ginny."

Sirius' face could have made even Professor Binns chuckle.

"No, no, not actually in love with her. Well, I guess he _is_ in love with her, but not in the real way that he's conscious of." Harry stammered, trying to ease Sirius' shock.

"Harry, you're not making sense. Explain, now." _And say something to get this picture out of my head._ Shuddering a bit, Sirius waited for his godson to continue.

"Well, he doesn't know he's in love with her." Harry said.

Sirius was a bit confused, "How does he not know he's in love with his sister?"

"Love potion."

"Oh. She made a love potion for her brother?! That's sick!" _Sicker than Snivelleus' love affair with his cauldrons, really._

"It was a mistake, I gave it to him." Harry thought it sounded much worse when he said that out loud. To someone else.

"Why would you want him to fall in love with his sister?!" This was too much, even for a Marauder's son. None of them had pulled something so…wrong. Well, not in _that_ way at least.

Harry quickly defended his questionable actions, "She was trying to make _me_ fall in love with her. Honestly, I didn't really think it through."

"Oh. That changes everything. What are we going to do with Miss Weasley?" Sirius propped his feet on the table in front of the fire, ready to brainstorm.

Harry was only slightly startled, he knew Sirius would have loved to help him get even with Ginny but he was a bit surprised that he hadn't even hesitated. Why was this man acting like he was half their age instead of twice their age? Had he always been this way? _Wormtail, I'm starting to understand. Sort of. _

"Uh, well, I've been trying to get her to think that I'm interested, just so she'll back off with the illegal potions."

Again, Sirius was confused. "Love potions aren't illegal, they're sold at Zonko's. At least they used to be."

"Those love potions last only a day, what she was brewing was intense, Sirius. Moaning-Myrtle's-bathroom-in-the-middle-of-the-night-intense."

"How did you find out, anyway?" Sirius had wondered how many places both Harry and Ginny frequented that would make ideal spots to brew illegal potions. Apparently, Myrtle's bathroom was the crime scene of choice.

"Caught her last night. Invisibility cloak, and all."

Aha! Maybe there was hope for the boy yet! "What were _you_ doing out in the wee hours of the night? Visiting the library with a certain friend perhaps?"

Harry blushed and locked his jaw. "No. I went for a trip to the kitchens. Dobby wanted to give me some socks because I let him keep Dudley's old shirts."

"Oh. Kind of disappointing, really."

Harry gave Sirius a glare but decided not to comment. He was too torn between exhaustion, happiness, and exasperation to defend his use of the Cloak.

"_Anyway_, she tried to poison me at breakfast, and I kind of thought 'Oh, wouldn't it be horrible if _Ron_ took the potion instead?' And I gave him the oatmeal."

Sirius blanched, "Oatmeal?"

"That's what she had mixed the potion in." Harry said, rolling his eyes.

"_Oatmeal?_ Seriously? Are you sure this girl was trying to enamor you?" _Oatmeal. Hogwarts Oatmeal, the only bad dish they had, really. _Sirius shook his head; this girl had absolutely no brains whatsoever.

"Sirius." Harry was really, _really _frustrated. And tired. And he really wanted to know where the hell Hermione was tonight. And hope he lived to see the daylight. All in all, Harry was just very cranky and wanted to get through the story as fast as possible. Because, even if he did love his godfather dearly, and even though he had missed him terribly since he had died, there was only so much time anyone could spend with Sirius Black without wanting to lie down.

"Right. Carry on." Sirius made a show out of sitting perfectly still, and clamping his mouth shut.

Shaking his head, Harry proceeded to tell Sirius about how since Ron had eaten the oatmeal ("EW. _Cold_ oatmeal?!" "SIRIUS!" "Sorry.") he had been looking for Ginny uncontrollably.

"So then, I was leaving the library where Hermione was with that git Boot, and I saw Ginny running down the corridor. Ron was right behind her, I could hear him. I grabbed her and took her into an empty classroom and then motioned for Ron to come inside too. He was still down the corridor so I had a couple of seconds alone with Ginny."

Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Harry slapped his forehead. "Sirius, this girl tried to force feed me _love potion_. I'm not going to snog her anytime soon."

Sirius shrugged, and motioned for Harry to finish telling him about the day's events. He was rolling on the floor laughing by the time Harry told him about Ginny's nervous attempt to "save the moment" and hearing the words out loud, realizing what had happened that day, Harry quickly joined in on the laughter as well.

"So, what are we going to do?" Sirius was eager to get back to his old, Marauding ways. There are very little pranking opportunities in Azkaban, and on the run, and in the realm of death.

"First, we're going to figure out why the bloody hell my best friend looks like one of Lockhart's Valentine dwarfs."

Harry gulped, and Sirius jumped.

Hermione was back.


End file.
